Winter is almost here… Before it arrives, let’s take some time to make a plan for upcoming special days.

Holidays and special days are tough. Boy, I know it. We have no choice over losing our loved ones, but we do have choices around how those days play out. Be kind to yourself. You will heal only at the rate at which you allow yourself to grieve. Slowly over time change your focus to your loved one’s life and how that enriched you.

Grab a sheet of paper and let’s work this through…

💡 First… Think about what special days are coming up for you? Traditional Holidays like Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s, St. Patrick’s Day? Did you do anything special over in the Fall? How about religious and spiritual days? What about anniversaries, birthdays, upcoming weddings, festivals? Any personally specific special days between you and your Loved One? Make a list of your upcoming special days.

🤔 Next… Consider how you have approached these days in the past – write that down. Do you want to continue traditions or do something different? Write down what you YOU would like for the upcoming special days on your list. I’ve included some idea’s here.

• Give a gift in memory of your Loved One
• Bring a flower, picture with you or framed phot displayed of your Loved One at an event
• Carry a special stone or memory item
• Burn a special candle in memory of your Loved One on the special day
• Take a walk in nature and take in the changes in your surroundings
• Hang a special ornament for the season’s holidays (you can also leave it out all year)
• Look at pictures and share memories as a family
• Make a special recipe, dish or meal
• Visit a cemetery or burial site
• Incorporate your Loved One’s preferences… music, activities, food,etc.
• Find light in the darkness: Remember the light that your loved one has brought into your life * Spend time in quiet prayer of thanksgiving for what your loved one has meant to you
• Decorate a gift box or jar and fill with special Winter memories
• Do a Random Act of Kindness on behalf of your Loved One

What are your ideas?

🗣️ Then… Share your ideas. If you are changing up traditions, sharing is very important. Your friends or family may have responses to your wishes. This are your special days and you are in the year of firsts, seconds or beyond. You are trying to figure it out. Offer yourself and those in your life a bit of grace here… it’s their years of firsts and beyond too.

💕 Finally… As the special days approach – attend to your self care through meditation, a walk in nature, letter writing or listening to music. Invite your Loved One into your day. Do this early in the day to avoid a Grief Sneak Attack… This brings intention and awareness to your grief care for the day.

You’ve got this, my friend.