“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34

We can use these words in our lives. No one knows our hearts, our stories, or our lives like we do. They don’t know our values, our faith, our connections. Just as they do not know us, we do not know those things for others.

After a loss, people may use platitudes, overused sayings, or just miss the mark as they try to connect or share sympathies. After a little bit of time, folks may have had their own loss or have yet to experience a profound loss and share their opinion about how we are doing. Over time, people in our lives may not know how to talk about our loss with us, or just awkwardly dance around the loss.

In my 30s, I began to regularly use this verse in my own mind and heart when other’s just didn’t understand my experiences. I would simply say internally… ” I forgive you for not knowing.” It helped.

“I forgive you for not knowing,” was a wonderful response when someone asked a question, made a comment, or just didn’t understand how hurtful a topic was for me. They didn’t know… they are not me. I enjoyed the people in my life and I believe there was no ill will, in many of those situations.

I still use “I forgive you for not knowing” as a tool to release hurts and avoid harboring negative energy. It also helps me to not over explain or need to convince others of what I’m experiencing.

Reflect and journal: Do you think you could apply “I forgive you for not knowing” into tough situations? Do you have something you do that is helpful for you?