The number 13 is generally associated with superstition. It’s something we learned about over time, and we looked for truth in the myth. At some point, our experiences integrated into our beliefs…

Let’s check this at the door along with some others…

Is Friday the 13th a doomed day?
Does a black cat crossing your path really change anything?
How about walking under a ladder or opening an umbrella indoors?

There are similar grief myths that I’ve heard over the years…

The amount of tears in grief relates to how much you love someone. It is true that tear MAY come when grieving. A general way to measure can be to reflect on past reactions. Do you cry easily, say at sweet or tender commercials? You may cry more when grief thoughts or memories are activated. If you don’t cry typically, you may not cry at all and that will never diminish your love for another.

Grief is something to get over or move on from. This is simply not true. You grief becomes part of you. At first, it’s new and intense. As you get to know it better, you gain understanding of grief’s presence in your life. Have you ever heard someone say… “Are you over your happiness yet?” That sounds off, right? The same is for grief… it’s a complex experience that takes a bit of time and trials to get to a place of knowing.

Stay busy to distract from grief. Grief needs attention to understand. Otherwise, it keeps surprising you. Learning about your grief takes time to experience life… think about a time you did something new for the first time. Was it tough? Confusing? Exciting? Then how about the second time? Were you more prepared? And the third? You knew more. The same is with grief. Stay present with it, you will learn more about yourself and what to expect. If you stay distracted, you will miss these valuable opportunities. Take time for “Healthy Distraction” a a part of grief self care, not a means to avoid grief all together.

So, how are you doing today? Are there grief myths that you have come to believe for yourself or found to be false?