“ You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” – Abraham Lincoln
We all wear masks when we are in grief. Question is, who are you fooling?
Sometimes we smile because we hope it will make ourselves feel better – Are you fooling YOU? Actually, research supports that when you turn that frown upside down, you improve your emotional state… Then comes the work of connecting the mind and the heart.
Sometimes we smile because we have thoughts about the company we share. Are you fooling THEM? Maybe… some folks don’t have the capacity to cope with other’s true feelings. They wouldn’t be able to have a heartfelt conversation or be able to relate to your experience. It’s not you, it’s them. They do have strengths in other areas of life.
On the other hand, some folks will be able to see right through your mask. They may respect today is not the day to ask… “REALLY, how are you doing?” These folks will speak to you privately or reach out to you at another time.
Pay attention to the reason behind the mask. Understand your actions, your needs in a situation, and hopes for an outcome. Are you trying to realign a tough moment? Is it safe to show your truth? Will your tough reality be received or glossed over?
Mindfulness is key, my friend.