Today we are going to explore our Loved One in their humanity…
In my circles, there is a sentiment that you “don’t speak ill of the dead.” Have you heard that? There is a challenge with that thought. Our Loved Ones were human with parts that were wonderful and parts that were real, raw and tough sometimes. This isn’t “speaking ill”… rather it’s being honest and authentic. How do we explore our relationships if we can’t talk about the entire person?
Remember, you get to choose on what you focus. I’ve found this to be very healing and helpful in understanding and integrating a loss for not only my clients, but for myself. If this topic brings forth discomfort, revisit the lesson as it feels right for you.
Here are some questions to get you started:
Mountains:
- What were the things that made your Loved One amazing?
- How were they helpful in your life?
- What was their sparkle or special unique quality?
- How did you connect? Values, interests, faith, family?
Valleys:
- What were some of the tough parts that made your Loved One human?
- How did you disagree?
- Was there a part of your relationship where there was a hurt or misunderstanding?
- Was there a forgiveness to be had on either side of the relationship? What was that like?
- Are there unresolved issues within your grief?
STORY PROMPTS:
- My Loved One was so special because…
- My Loved One helped me understand…/I helped my Loved One understand…
- We were similar or agreed on…
- One tough day I remember was…
- We didn’t always agree on…
- We all make mistakes, one that I remember is…
- I forgive…
- I wish we could have resolved…
The steps will guide you through.
- Complete your Outline
- Complete your Thumbnail Sketch
- Hand write your story (Front and Back of only 1 sheet of paper)
- Listen to EFT Mediation to complete the process.
**If at anytime you have an intense response, utilize the 1 Minute Calming/Grounding Exercise.
Today’s 1-Minute Calming/Grounding Exercise is the Brief Energy Correction (BEC) The video is exactly 1 minute and it will take you through the exercise slowly.
Continue the steps at your own pace for another 5-10 cycles as you need. Check in with your pain, your upset and measure it… Work to bring your upset down 3-5 points on a 10 point scale…
Reference:
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Bilazarian,R. and Hux, M. (2020) Rapid Group Treatment of Pain and Upset, International Journal of Healing and Caring, Vol 20 (3) (39 patient dropped 4 points, 36 upsets dropped 5.2 after 90 seconds)