Everyone has an opinion… Oh yes, that means others will have their own opinion as to how YOU are doing in your grief.
Something you and I know, that they might not know, is that grief doesn’t just stop or end after our 3 bereavement days off of work or after a couple of weeks. It takes time.
Grief is one of those “tough to describe” experiences. We grieve because we’ve had people touch our lives, we grieve as a process, we grieve as an emotion and we even grieve as a way of life.
You have your expectations of yourself and of others, too. You may expect others to continue talking about your Loved One or asking you how you are doing. When this doesn’t happen, we may feel isolated or alone.
Here are some ideas:
- I know it may be tough, though you can bring your Loved One into conversations.
- Offer how you are REALLY doing if you feel comfortable in sharing.
- Manage your own expectations through inviting others into your grief as you are comfortable. As you continue to add to your Capture Memories journal, you have little tidbits that could be easily added into conversations if you wanted.
I’m not giving our supporters a pass here… I would like to point out that they may not have experienced grief as you have. Additionally, we can only be responsible for our own actions and reactions… Remember, our grief is our own and no two griefs are the same.
Also, there are differences across cultures, communities and families in how to respond or behave in grief. There may be some deep rooted reason why your supporters may be missing the mark for you or their reactions to you in your grief.
With that said, watch the video and listen to the poem. I hope to give you a way to use the poem to help open the door to saying your Loved One’s name more often and more easily in time.
The Elephant in the Room
In this recording of the Elephant in the Room, written by Terri Kettering, you receive some ideas of how to utilize the poem with those in your life. I just love this poem.
Take a few minutes to reflect or journal:
How can you or do you bring your Loved One into conversations?