Honestly, you will never be in the same place in your grief as you were at one week after the death or as you were at three months after the death. It may be just that you had recognized a new secondary loss, a new way that you are missing your Loved One. This is, in part, why we feel we are “going crazy.” You’re not going crazy, you are grieving!

We do bounce around in our grief experience… grieving intensely to searching for information… to adjusting to those intense feelings again. It may not seem to have any rhyme or reason.

Hopefully, this lesson will give you an introduction to help you when a new secondary loss comes to light.

Watch the video and print the handout.

I’m providing you a list of secondary losses created by Sr. Mary Agnes Sermersheim, OSB. I have not been able to locate the original source of this list that is titled Levels of Loss. I’ll tell you, it’s a relevant list and I’ve found it to be very helpful when starting the conversation about secondary losses.

Keep in mind, there are secondary losses you may experience that are not included. Additionally, you may only experience a few types of losses that are listed. The idea is that you become familiar with the idea that the loss of your Loved One has different layers.

I cannot predict which secondary losses that you will experience. I can however, give you a chance, help you prepare and reduce the element of surprise if and when a secondary loss becomes a new source of your grief.

Handout: Levels_of_Loss

Take a few minutes to reflect or journal:

Which secondary losses did you recognize in your life?