April Showers mirror our grief tearfulness. Those gray days welcome our expression of sorrow. Go ahead… let it out… Sometimes, we just need a good cry.

I developed a tool that my clients have found so very beneficial. It’s called Time-Limited Tearfulness. Let me explain.

There is benefit to the ebb and flow of intense emotions. Grief intensity can be overwhelming. Some things I’ve heard over time include:

I tend to ask what’s the evidence that you won’t stop crying or that you will get stuck in depression? It’s important to dig a bit deeper into what’s the fear with experiencing the intense “stuff” of grief. This is messy, it’s hard.

Music is a wonderful gift and tool that fits this situation well. A typical contemporary song is 3-5 minutes in length… it’s a reasonable duration to go into the sorrow. It’s also plenty of time to come out of the sorrow. This is that ebb and flow of grief.

How Time-Limited Tearfulness works

Think of a song or two that you find naturally brings forth tears. For me, it’s Traveling Soldier by the Dixie Chicks (now just the Chicks, Untitled by The Cure and I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack . A New Day has Come by Celine Dion is generally a song of hope… for me, it brings the tears.  What is that for you?

THEN… think of a song that just lifts your spirits. You may want to dance to this song or sing out loud. Having a Party by Rod Stewart,Valerie Loves Me by Material Issue, and Christmas is Coming by John Denver and the Muppets, just to name a few. (I’ll include links for the songs in the event you need some inspiration to get you going.). Yes, it’s and eclectic group of songs, though there are so many to chose and each has it’s own group of connections.  What are your uplifting songs?

Set aside time to listen to just one Tearful song and immediately listen to one or two of your upbeat songs. Let a someone in your life know you are doing this if that gives you added security to experience your intense emotions.

You can expect to cry and even wail. Have tissues ready for the runny nose. Though allow those tears to come and roll down your checks and neck.

You can also expect to feel different when you first start the upbeat song. It may seem strange, just go with it. Sing out loud. Dance if you want. Play that music loud and take it in.

You may want to journal or simply reflect about your experience… After you try Time-Limited Tearfulness and you see how it works, you can utilize it on tough days and special days when you know you are going too long for your Loved One.

I’ve attached a handout for you. Click on the image to bring up a printable version of the handout.

Time-Limited Tearfulness has been a Chartreuse Center secret coping strategy that you now have in your Tool Kit. Go ahead and give it a try.