This week is a little different. We are going to look at strengths in different forms.
Think… Me… You… Us…
This is a bit more work than normal, though it makes sense to talk about it all at once. Let me explain…
I truly believe that you have qualities that help in all sorts of ways in your life. First, we are going to take an inventory of your strengths and coping strategies. Let’s celebrate what you already do that helps you… and this will begin to recognize the benefit of learning some new things.
You choose to have certain people in your life – they have strengths too. So then, we are going to explore the strengths of your inner circle and how you may be able to best utilize and contribute to those around you. We are social creatures, after all. We survive because we have found ways to cooperate, share in the work of life, and care for each other.
There are supports and resources outside of you and your inner circle. Sometimes we need to extend our reach a bit to obtain the help we seek. Finally, we are going to talk a bit about those mental barriers surrounding the idea of help Ask for help? What? That’s a real tough thing to do sometimes. Accepting someone’s offer to help can be equally difficult.
You will need extra time this week to complete the exercises… You may even want to do this work throughout the week so you can sit with your observations for a day or so. I encourage you to do it all… I wanted to be sure we looked at this and it seemed right to explore these topics together instead of in separate weeks. I know you can do it.
Watch the video. Print and complete the handouts for each activity surrounding strengths and getting your needs met.
Remember… you do not have to complete all the work in one sitting.
Take your time and take each part in a manageable piece. You’ve got all week.
Your Personal Strengths
As a friend in your grief, I have helped you start exploring your personal strengths. You’ve already begun to recognize your personal gifts. You may even be noticing some aspects of your contributions to the relationship with your Loved One as you continue to journal. You have grown so much through this tough time.
Hmmm… notice how these things are starting to come together.
Activity 1 Handout: Personal Strengths
Extra Resources for you:
- I enjoy this book, Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman that talks about various aspects of personal strengths.
- There is a free 240 question inventory available if you’d like to further explore these areas more… You can take the inventory and you have an option to create an account… You can opt-out of the account, still continue to review your results and print yourself a copy of your results if you’d like.
- I also enjoy the concept of multiple intelligences by Howard Gardner. Gardner values other forms of engaging and learning well beyond reading, writing and arithmetic that we focused on in grade school. Interpersonal, interpersonal, nature, spacial and musical are some of the other intelligence lenses from which we can understand our world.
Your activity combines both concepts to have you begin to conceptualize your own personal strengths.
Print your handout and take some time to be honest with what you bring to your life. You have much to offer – give yourself credit where credit is due.
Get to Know Your Support Circle
Sometimes we can become disconnected from our Inner Circle when we are grieving simply because of the individualistic aspects of grief. Sometimes, it may be due to a disconnect in what you need and your Inner Circle’s ability to support you in that need. And other times, we may just need to better utilize our Inner Circle by tapping into their strengths and abilities.
Print the worksheets and get real about the people in your circle of support.
Activity 2 Handout: Circles of Support – Female Circles of Support – Male
Expanding and Making Use of Strengths All Around You
We’ve looked at both your strengths and the strengths of your Inner Circle. You may be recognizing some areas that may be lacking…this is actually more common than you may think… If you are the listener of the group, who listens to you? If you are the go-to person for help, who is your go-to person? What if you have a number of fun folks in your life? How supported do you feel? In all honesty, your inner circle isn’t doing anything wrong, they just don’t hold the resources to help you. They are being themselves.
How are you utilizing those outside your Inner Circle? Interestingly, you already make use of others every day. Are you aware of it?
We’ve all heard the story of the pizza delivery person who checked up on their daily delivery to find she was in need of help… Now, I’m not sure if that’s a true story, however, I do know that we tend to share parts of our lives in small talk with cashiers, the pharmacist, the dental hygienist, and maybe a neighbor.
Based on your observations about your Inner Circle, it may be time to expand your support circle a bit. Perhaps, it’s time to reach out to a grief counselor for more help. Only you can tell.
Print the worksheet. You will fill in name and contact info for each person or professional you include. Have piece of mind of who to reach out to for a number of emergent situations… Remember YOU ARE ABLE!
Activity 3 Handout: Who Can Help Me
What a week!!!! I hope you have expanded your thoughts around strength.
It’s okay if you don’t have something for each category. If that’s the case, this is an opportunity for you to explore a bit and reach out even if it’s outside your comfort zone.