Top 5 Pitfalls to Regaining Positivity and Joy

You may have tried to reset your perspective and mindset in the past and it may not have worked out so well. I get it, I call it the **”Yeah…. But” Response**. And I’ve heard it all too often. I’m sure you’ve heard it too, from people in your life. **Yeah**, the change is wanted… **But** something is in the way, or even they’re not ready to do what’s needed to fully make the change.

When it comes to regaining positivity and joy, there are some pitfalls or stumbling blocks that folks come across along the way. I wanted to share my Top 5 that I see or hear about with my own clients. We all think that choosing to be positive “should” be an easy thing to do. However, many folks don’t understand how embedded our thinking patterns become.

Here is a video and a following article that offers information about those Top 5.

#1 Positivity, joy or happiness is defined in limited areas of life.

Some people live with the misconception that living with positivity means that life is full of sunshine and rainbows, nothing tough happens, and every day is a walk in the park. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Living with positivity is the mindset of how you have prepared, respond and recover from the hard parts of a day, a moment, or a year. It’s how you speak to yourself. It’s about the type of value you place on the events, people, and things in your world. It’s the lens you view life – the easy and challenging parts.

#2 Misconception of what living with positivity is like.

Many folks put an emphasis on a key area of life that is defining their sense of positivity or joy. Maybe there has been a primary focus in life or maybe much stress or disappointment has been experiences such as poor work relationships, financial hardship, a loss or difficulties building a family. Joy and happiness is sometimes expressed in If/Then thinking – I’ll be happy when ____________ You fill in that blank. The popular responses tend to be within the career or position, financial, relationship or family arenas. This is limited thinking. Positivity, joy and happiness can be experienced in all sorts of area of life even when another aspect is a challenge.

#3 Not understanding loss in regards to the negative Inner Critic.

With change comes loss, one thing stops or slows while something else starts. In my experience in counseling folks, many don’t understand the process of change. They may have gone through it time and time again, just never took the time to break it down since the change itself wasn’t all too troublesome. Some think, “how hard can it be to reduce negative self talk or regain a positive outlook?” and not consider it a change process.

When we think of this as positivity or a negative Inner Critic, the comfort of a negative voice would be a loss. I know that may be strange to think of in that way. However, a long standing relationship has been developed with that Inner Critic. Perhaps, it’s become an old friend that you could expect and count on the response no matter how vicious or toxic the relationship is for you. Not understanding that connection can hinder the transition to positivity.

#4 Allowing past assumptions remain.

Unspoken expectations or past assumptions fuel negative self talk and can sabotage a transition to positivity, joy and happiness. These are the unspoken should’s and need to’s that allow negativity to thrive. We cannot possibly succeed when we really don’t know the expectation from others. We then fill in the blanks with I need to…. or I should… This can also happen when new limitations appear in life. Our past assumption supports that we have always been able to do something, so why not now? When life changes, we sometimes adjust just fine. It’s those unspoken and even sometimes spoken expectations that we create ourselves, are part of society or passed on through generations. Taking a good look at these expectations and assumptions can be telling and it’s helpful to realign based on the positivity mindset.

#5 Lack of preparation for the tough days.

That tricky Inner Critic isn’t always going to leave willingly or you may not let go of it easily. Either way the inner Critic comes around for the tough days. On the hardest of days, we will go back to old habits. They key here is to integrate recognizing what brings forth the Inner Critic, how to stop or not get caught in ruminating thoughts, and how to bounce back. Without a plan, it’s so easy to get stuck in old patterns and become discouraged.

Avoiding the pitfalls

One of my greatest motivators in the work I do is seeing the progression from despair to a place of growth and renewed interest in life. Those that struggle the most are those living with a powerful Inner Critic. If this a change that is wanted in your life, I’ve worked to create a program that can help. There is work to be done on your part. And I’m here to guide, companion, and help you stay on track so you don’t get stuck in one of these pitfalls. Happiness, joy, positivity are too important.

Enrollment for the Quiet Your Inner Critic is open a couple times a year.  Learn more now.  Enrollment is now ending on January 10th.  Learn more Now.

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